Wednesday, October 1, 2014

21 DAYS... or PRINCESS TO PAUPER...


DAY 3

My principal contract re-debut...rebut as it were...upstaged by a child.

What's the old stage maxim? No animals...no kids.  Is that it?

One of our young male personages (who shall remain nameless because I ain't gonna be held accountable) had to go on for Little Eponine last night.  Why? Well...life goes on. And so does the show.  

And he hit it out of the park. How did a 12 year old keep from camping it up when every one of his adult colleagues was offstage watching? I will never know.

Pro. Pro. Pro.

Me? I had a great time and made more bobos than ever before. I am a bobo hobo. But who noticed?

No one.

'Cause there was a flipping kid on that stage.

Thanks, kid.  I owe you one. I mean it.  You're the best.  The cupcakes are on me...





Tuesday, September 30, 2014

21 DAYS OF THENARDIER or FROM PRINCESS TO PAUPER IN 18 SHORT YEARS

Day 2

Seems I scared oodles of crap outta oodles of you when I posted I was unemployed on DAY 1. I'm sooooo sorry.  And because payback is always a bitch...

I woke up at 4 am
and
the dog got into the bathroom garbage.

That'll teach me to play that hard.

I woke up at 4 am 'cause I'm ridiculously psyched to play...on the stage.  It has been 18 years since I had my last production principal contract for my very own role. It has been 18 years since I haven't had to put u/s or s'by on my resume for a Broadway show.

Yippee!!!

The coach turns into a pumpkin again in three weeks but

Yippee anywayyyyyyyyyyy!!!

I am well-rested (I fell asleep at 8 pm...really...I think I come from farmers), TaBbed up and raring to go.  Just need to walk thorough Master of the House since it's been a month.  It's  complicated...and so am I.

And I forgot a razor and there's no time to bathe back in the city so I'm coming at you all hairy to boot.  Method acting at its wurst. (That is not a typoo.)

You're welcome!!!

  

Monday, September 29, 2014

21 DAYS OF THENARDIER or FROM PRINCESS TO PAUPER IN 18 SHORT YEARS




DAY 1

I am born.  

Nope.  That's a lie.

I am unemployed.  

Yup.  That's right. Starting today I am on a Leave of Absence from my regular ensemble role and my Madame T contract doesn't start til tomorrow. 

Unemployed.  Slacker. Ne'er do well. 

The 405 Club.

Oooh...what a feeling of freedom...like the wind blowing through my hair even though I'm still lying in bed.

I am in an undisclosed location with a jacuzzi and a beach and a fireplace and a dog.  And a bottle of wine.  Maybe some TaB.  And some tostitos. And I am still in bed.  And for the first time in eons, nothing has to be done.

Not miserable. 

Happy. 

Sunday, September 28, 2014

I Left this Computer Out and On the Last Three Months

in hopes of writing and...

nada.

But that changes.  Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the inauguration of 21 DAYS OF THENARDIER or FROM PRINCESS TO PAUPER IN 18 SHORT YEARS.

Yup...my bosses were kind enough to give me the principal contract for Madame T for three whole weeks and I'm gonna write about it.

Don't know what I'm gonna write 'cause it ain't happened yet...but I'm gonna write.

And it's not gonna be a Book of Face Update of Status or 140 characters of less. And if there is a hashtag involved you can feel free to murder me.

So THERE!

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

I Left This Computer Out and On Last Night


in hopes that I would write out and on it today.

Hopes dished, dashed and douched.  The wrong molecules of my being wish to write.  It has to be my solar plexus that is activated but right now...RIGHT NOW ONLY MY LEFT SHOULDER WANTS IN!

What the what?

And that's not the write spot.

Out, damned spot!

Boo. Hiss.  Get off the stage.

So I post this, pissed that so much time has passed since I've offered you a repast.

And in hopes that I write out and on my computer someday soon.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Kurt Vonnegut Told Me to Write This

Okay...not me but a bunch of high school students.  HuffPost exposed this today. 

This is my little poem.  I'm breaking the rules through sharing it.  But at least I'm not sharing it with Ms. Lockwood, so there's that.  


I have a warbly, wobbly dog.
He wrests the day from being a slog.
I love him and he loves me.
We both have inordinate 'mounts of pee.
We keep each other company.
He takes a dump, but ne'er on me.


I know...it's no good.  But it's mine, ALLLLLLLLL mine.  And sometimes you just have to create something that's all yours.  And please note the split rhyme (if that's what it's called) in the penultimate and final lines...dump rhymes with comp and me with ny.  


Oh yeah.

I think I'll go color now.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy New Year


Hasten
And
Prepare,
Penpal
Yearling.

Next
Excellent
Wrangle,

You
Examine
All
Realities.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

On the Thirty-First DaY of TiZmas


On the Thirty-First DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

31 Take Alongs or Grabs for 2014


Joy

Constant employment

Creative challenges

Peace on Earth

Goodwill toward Dogs

Becoming a finer actor

Learning how to mix

Being a part of the solution as opposed to the problem.

Wealth

A piano

Teaching voice

Producing

Finishing my writing projects

Finding more exquisite teachers

Spending more and more time with my lovely friends

Charitable work

Sailing

Kayaking

Biking

Tap dancing

Balance

Meditation

Flexibility

Strength

Laughter

Companionship

Love

Smarter, more effective government

Become a better listener...even when I have something to say that I think is terrifically important.

Connection

Fairy lights


And let's just say, if I wish it for myself and it's something that gooses your gander, I wish it for you as well.  Even steven.





Monday, December 30, 2013

On the Thirtieth DaY of TiZmas


On the Thirtieth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

30 Leave Behinds in 2013...aka, no way you're hanging on my coattails in 2014 


Survival mode

Cash flow worries

Angst over a remarkably stupid underwriter

Angst over a worker of case

Fear that by doing the right thing I will be punished

Fear of showing my intelligence

Fear of being considered stupid.  (Oh what a fine line I've been treading with these two.)

A bit of the snark.  Not all of it, mind you, but a bit of it.

Most stinky meats

Most stinky cheeses

Most sugar

Unnecessary pain

People pleasing

Powerlessness

Congress.  Let's just leave 'em behind. They suck.

Unprofessional colleagues

Ten pounds

A Chunk O' FaceBook

The Avaricious

The Deceitful

Judgment

Dirty laundry

Lack of acceptance

Apologizing for Baxter.  He's back to his good doggy self.

Haziness

Sloth

Guilt

Rigidity

The need to impress

The underwear I bought that was too small
















Sunday, December 29, 2013

On the Twenty-Ninth DaY of TiZmas


On the Twenty-Ninth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

29 things I wonder right now...

Where does the love go when you stop loving someone?

Why do some people believe in God?

Why are there so many nail salons in my hood?

Why are there so many hair salons in my hood?

How come some kids believe in Santa for so long?

Where do all the socks go?  REALLY!

At what point does one give up?

If people are going to fuck you over, why don't they tell you at the start?  For the most part they know, right? 

What is beautiful?  I know there's a gray area but definitely  black and white area too.

Where do tupperware lids go?  The same place as socks?

Why is it so hard for me to decide to drive a nail into a wall?

What makes some people hurt animals?

Does big pharma really perpetuate poor health?

How come there's always one dust bunny more?

Why do I find showers almost painful?

Why do many Americans think they know more than anyone of any nation?

Why do many Americans feel we have to be NUMBER 1?

What's wrong with evolution?

Why does there always need to be a word. 

What's happened to the great fiction?  And if it's still there, then what's happened to me?

Why are peaches only perfect for about half a second?

And why are we rarely around for that half second?

Why has proper customer service taken a nose dive?

Why do people get so upset that I don't get the flu shot?  

Is higher cholesterol really that bad?  Doesn't it do SOME good?

Why do I still look surprisingly young?

What makes a place feel like home?

Why are some people musical and others not?

When we start out in this life, do we already know everything we're supposed to and, like Michelangelo, the world strips away or jiggles the detritus and knowledge is revealed slowly?  Vice versa? Or a mixture?


Feel free to give me your take...please...












Saturday, December 28, 2013

On the Twenty-Eighth DaY of TiZmas


On the Twenty-Eighth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

28 things I learned, relearned or wished I hadn't learned this year. You can decide what category each falls into...

Friends shouldn't shovel snow when they have a funny feeling in their chest.

Don't accept a job just because it's been offered to you.

Friends change.

If you work and play well with others, eventually word gets out and strangers will do you enormous favors.

People can hold grudges for a looooooooooong time.

I am not one of those people.

Ask the captain if you're anchored before you jump off their boat.

Spending money on loved ones is FUN!!!!

Never judge a book by its cover...especially if is sporting a book jacket.

People who share your birthday are awesome.

There is little better than someone being genuinely happy for your good fortune.

One of the things is being genuinely happy for someone else's good fortune.

Women often attribute success to luck.  It ain't luck, sistahs!!

I will hurt myself to avoid hurting someone else.

Ceasing the unemployment extension during the holidays?  Poorly played, Congress.  Poorly played. 

People in decisive positions often fail to realize that what is on a piece of paper is more than just ink.  It is someone's hope, dreams, livelihood.

Sometimes you need to be louder when you yell, STOP!!!

The Heather Garden and Linden Terrace of Fort Tryon Park are heaven.

Sir William's Dog Run saves lives.

Help is there for the asking but sometimes you need to ask a LOT of different people.

You can't explain stupid.

Everything is personal.  Nothing is personal.

Best friends unpack for you.

Use it or lose it.

Angels come in strange outerwear.

TaB Cola is finite.

Most everyone knows at least one subject more comprehensively than you do.  

I have the best dog in the world.  If you have a dog, so do you.










Friday, December 27, 2013

On the Twenty-Seventh DaY of TiZmas


On the Twenty-Seventh DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

Twenty-Seven quotes that are speaking to me right now.  Please to forgive fuckupedness of punctuation.

Now that my ladder's gone, I must lie down where all the ladders start--in the foul rag and bone shop of the heart.  Yeats

Physics, mathematics, music, painting, my politics, my love for you, my work, the star-dust of my body, the spirit that impels it, clocks diurnal, time perpetual, the roll, rough, tender, swamping, liberating, breathing, moving, thinking nature, human nature and the cosmos are patterned together.  Winterson

You have something more.  You have that spark of humanity. Maltby

Christianne Tisdale showed as much passion as if she'd just heard about a sale on paper towels.  Some mean reviewer

Christianne Tisdale as Morgan Le Fey...ruined Camelot.  Another mean reviewer

Do what you feel in your heart to be right--for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, damned if you don't.  Eleanor Roosevelt

Don't let them get you down, kid.  NaNa

I sing the body electric, The armies of those I love engirth me and I engirth them.  Whitman

Hi cunts.  The funny baby panda picture I have on my iPhone that Charlie loves

maybe i used to think that my life is the way it is because i fell way behind.  but now i realize that hte real late bloomer is the dictionary.  i myself am thoroughly modern and i have more families than i can count  and that's not even including my foodbaby.  catch up with me, people.  A friend of mine who wished to remain anonymous

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.  Baruch

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.  Vonnegut

Don't be a defeatist, dear.  It's very middle class.  Fellowes

We are here on earth to help others.  What the others are here for, I have no idea.  Auden

Breaking news: people are crazy.  Mike Errico

The diamond cutter doesn't imagine the diamond he wants.  Instead, he sees the diamond that is possible.  Godin

I have a secret...I love you.  Poppy

I decided to start anew, to strip away what I had been taught.  O'Keefe

There are moments when everything goes well, but don't be frightened. Renard

I have a lot of beliefs and I live by none of 'em.  That's just the way I am.  They're just my beliefs.  I just  like believing them.  I like that part.  Louis C.K.

I am not afraid of storms because I am learning how to sail my ship.  Alcott

Why not go out on a limb.  That's where the fruit is.  Rogers

I imagine that yes is the only living thing. cummings

I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.  Nin

If everyone did their job in life, the world would be a much nicer place.  Darren Cohen

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.  Izzard

What do you want a meaning for?  Life is a desire, not a meaning.  Chaplin








Thursday, December 26, 2013

On the Twenty-Sixth DaY of TiZmas


On the Twenty-Sixth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

What I think is necessary for Christmas.



You

and

Peace.

And a safe, warm place to lay your head.



I'm not going to do 26 things.  I'm breaking my own rules.  

I had more than me and more than peace. And I definitely had a safe, warm place to lay my head. So much more. But in a season that is too often filled with sorrow and loss, loneliness and memories of innocent (or not so) times past, I think the above are the basics.  And even if Christmas isn't your bag, on one day a year (or however long you celebrate whatever you celebrate), this is what I think we need to make a go of it.  

And I would like at least this for everyone.  Can we make it happen?

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

On the Twenty-Fifth DaY of TiZmas


My
Expressions
Ring
Roundabout 
You

Crowing
Hauntingly,
Ranting
Inside,
Singing
Tizzily,
Manic
A
Starlight

Helloooooooooo
All
Penpals,
Prepare
Years-end

Now
Enter
World

Your
Excellence
Aims
Righteously

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

On the Twenty-Fourth Day of TiZmas

On the Twenty-Fourth Day of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I just wrote this, posted and then accidentally deleted it.  My own user error regarding technology makes me kraykray.

I am very good at "making do."

I'm not always sure this is an attribute.  Great for survival.  I am leaving behind survival mode.

I am adept at going into battle.

Battle is great for adrenaline, cortisol rushes and getting oodles done.

I've lived off adrenaline and cortisol for the last year.  Not great at my age.

I have never had a less financially satisfying year.

And by never, I mean in the past twenty-five years.

I've never laid out more money...I mean I bought a HOME.

Staying afloat has been a fascinating combo of juggling and magic.

Maybe some clowns and an elephant jumping through hoops.

I am the elephant.

In other words, my financial situation is a three ring circus.

I'm not sure I've ever had a more emotionally satisfying year.

I've heard through the grapevine that I can have money and emotional satisfaction.  We shall see.

Last time I did a Broadway show my mum died the top of the third week of rehearsal.

As that can't happen again, I'm pretty sure this rehearsal period is going to be a piece of ooey gooey chocolate CAKE.

I use the world "like" imaoorioiwrely and...like...far too often.

However, I do like the way I just spelled inappropriately.  It works, n'est pas?

I have been known to throw around french phrases as if I know what I'm doing. Nope.

I have a beautiful French accent.

The French have been known to crank out on me when they realized how little French I know and the state of my grammar.

I use the world "would" too often in place of "used to, "did," and the LIKE. (That one's okay.)  Oh, Lazy Me.

Lazy is an art that should be practiced daily.


On the Twenty-Third DaY of TiZmas

On the Twenty-Third DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

23 movies I've watched more than once (and probably many more times than twice)

My Man Godfrey
The Philadelphia Story
Borne Yesterday
Holiday
The Wizard of Oz
The Quiet Man
A Room with a View
Tom Jones
Roman Holiday
Sabrina
Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill /  Glorious / Definite Article /  Unrepeatable
Little Miss Sunshine
Death at a Funeral
Jane Eyre - every version that's been released
Pretty Woman
Beauty and the Beast
La Belle et la BĂȘte 
A Christmas Story
It's a Wonderful Life
Switchblade Sisters
Valley of the Dolls
The Forty Year Old Virgin
Bridget Jones's Diary
Billy Elliot
Louis C.K. Entire library of joyous wrongness

Yeah...that's 25.  I gave you two bonus for my screw up repeats of the past.  You're welcome.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

On the Twenty-Second DaY of TiZmas


On the Twenty-Second DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

Twenty-two things you may not know about my career

I've never been onstage for a Broadway opening night.

Although FaceBook can be quite helpful career-wise at times, it took my facing a  hiatus to book ON A CLEAR DAY...the first Broadway show I'd done in years.

It only took a week to happen.

Godspell is the reason I am in this business.

It was the first show I  saw in New York.

One of the actors made eye contact with me...and held it.

Day by Day was my first important solo.

Because of the movie, I could barely speak to Victor Garber  when I met him.

I have never done Godspell.

I did not start this career until I was close to thirty.

Because my very famous voice teacher told me I had a stupid speaking voice, I was terrified to speak actual lines in an audition.

I did not sleep at all the night before my first audition.

I excused myself from an agent audition once.

He had answered the phone three times during my audition...the last time gesturing for me to continue singing while he spoke on the phone.  I packed up my things and left saying, "Sir, you don't have time for me and I definitely don't have time for this."

I met my real agents less than a month later.

I have been with them for twenty years.

I studied acting in college with Nikos Psacharapolous.

This year was the first year I ever even auditioned for any production of Les Mis.

I once lost  a role (after being called back) to a black man. 

I have never seen CATS.

I once turned down a Broadway show.

I have missed a total of 8 performances my entire career.  (I think I may owe you a tidbit as this is probably a very recent repeat.) 


Saturday, December 21, 2013

On the Twenty-First DaY of TiZmas


On the Twenty-First DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

Twenty-one things you may not know about BaXter (and I sooooo could be repeating myself...please to forgive...)

His original name was MaX.

Thus he responds better to BaX.

He does NOT speak Spanish.

He has, however, eaten an entire wheel of cheese.

He gets to sleep the last hour of every sleep in bed with me.

I recently awaked to find him with his paws around my neck.

I'm not sure if he was hugging me or strangling me.

He now considers 95% of people as friends.

Sometimes he comes to acting class with me.

He is quite gifted.

He has a cameo in the season finale of Wallflowers.

He can hold his mark quite well.

He loves to chase flies.

He tries to pounce on pigeons. 

He has yet to succeed.

He doesn't quite understand that squirrels are able to climb.

He seems to think they just disappear magically.

He is an honorary terrier.

He learned to socialize with other dogs this year.

Although he still doesn't like children, he will eat from their hands now if they are WAAAAAY cool.

He doesn't like listening to Norah Jones as much as I thought he does.


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