Friday, April 10, 2015

On Growing Up


I'm not going to delve into why it's taking me so long.  But I will offer a little example of how it's sneaking up on me...in a third times the charm epistolary manner.

Sometimes I do work for off-stage groups that show muggles what it's like to be or hang with or learn from onstage professionals.  Sometimes the off-stage group and I are a bad match.  Actually only one off-stage group.  The rest of them and I get along swimmingly because we are pros and care.


TAKE 1 on RESIGNING.

Hi guys...

TiZ here.  I don't think we should work together anymore.  And I believe I would be doing us all a disservice if I didn't explain exactly why.  

After exchanging 25 texts with J where I had to ask for terms (pay, address...there are a couple of Heartland Breweries) to be summarily dismissed (after I had done all the work and secured the actors you needed) because I brought to light that a dinner had gone awry before, was rude.  And unbusinesslike.  And I would actually like to be paid my fee as I upheld my end of the bargain and coordinated for you.

There have been bigger problems in the past.  Not only weren't my colleagues fed the aforementioned dinner and I had to doggy bag them and deliver them after half hour where many were inedible, it took a month for my colleagues to be paid. That made me look bad.  And made a number of them not want to work for you again.

I was paid the wrong amount for that event.  The difference came three months later as part of another payment that was two months late.  

Regarding what ended up being a smashing event at the Blue Fin,  terms of contract were changed on your part when all of a sudden I was asked for a group number 4 days before the event. This was after I'd secured a Tony nominee and a TV star for you. Of course you finally went with our flow, but it's something that could have/should have been stated up front as I was working my butt off to keep everyone happy.

I already work a 40 hour week.  In the past, I have worked for heads of state, aribtrageurs, tiny non-profs, law firms, mental hospitals and as a singing waiter.  I have never seen "employees" treated as haphazardly as you do.  And I believe if you started to treat artists compassionately and as the intelligent human beings of value that we are, everyone, including your employer, would be happier and wealthier.

Thanks.

TiZ


I didn't send it.  Not only is it not particularly well-written, I'm finally learning not to help people who

a) don't want to be helped.
b) are dumb.
c) are rude.

and/or

d) are potential future competition.


TAKE 2 on RESIGNING

So I wrote a sassy text that I checked with my friend Kieran...who liked it.

J - If by high expectations you mean being fed and possibly paid in a timely manner, yes, my expectations are possibly too high for you.  Please let's do each other a favor and not attempt to do business together again. It's not worth the trouble.  Thanks.

But I didn't send it. It's pretty well-written and has a level of snark that I find quite attractive but I felt it was somehow going to come back and bite me in the ass.  I hate doing business via text but it is the only way some people seem to know how to do business so...I finally came up with this.


TAKE 3 on RESIGNING

J - As I already have a 40 hour week plus charitable works, it would be best if you found another liaison at the MiZ.  I'm sure you understand.  Please inform L as well.  Thanks. - T


Third times the charm. Everything resides in the "I'm sure you understand."  I sent it. But it was grown up and gracious and gave her the opportunity to be attempt to be so in response...and go on her puerile, haphazard way of pissing off artists and not fulfilling the expectations of her clients. What she doesn't know WILL hurt her. Bad business WILL bite you in the butt...deservedly

Another reason why I'm happy?  I immediately got another artist-in-residence job that paid twice as much.  And the potential for one that pays about 10x as much.

Although "Yes" is a grand word, sometimes "No" and "Enough" are the grownup tools you need to crack yourself open to bigger opportunities.

La la la la la.




Wednesday, December 31, 2014

On the 31st DaY of TiZmas


On the 31st DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

31 grabs or take-alongs for 2015...**


Acidity-free

Moolah

Charitable works

Appropriate workouts

Another lead in a Broadway show and tv/film project

Producing

Wallflowers


Love

Friendship

Arranging

Strength of body and spirit

A beautiful home

Laughter

Fiction

Comfort and joy

Dancing

Brain power

Understanding

Meditation

Character

Ever more creativity in all arenas...including some I haven't already explored

Being a part of the solution, not the problem 

Ten pounds of fat left by the wayside

Peace on earth, goodwill toward all sentient beings...and house plants

Happy and healthy family unit

Sex

Dog park

Movement forward without the other shoe dropping.  (Maybe I'm only meant to have one shoe. Maybe I'm meant to be a little lopsided.)

Red lipstick and strong brows

Kindness and understanding

That fucking pony I asked for years ago



**How did I get so old?  Although the alternative is a major bitch...as I just witnessed.  














Tuesday, December 30, 2014

On the 30th DaY of TiZmas


On the 30th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I have this scene partner named Arbender.  These are 30 of the things I've learned/relearned/witnessed through him in the almost year we've known one another. He is my friend.



There are more hours in the day than you can imagine

People are people and first deserve understanding

It's easier to do a four minute plank with a friend

You can never have too many Broadway shows under your belt

Bow ties are always snazzy

Christmas trees are best in bulk

Joy is contagious

Just say no

Don't run for a train

No matter what, I'm not gonna be allowed in the black circle.

It is possible to teach two classes before a two show day

You can take a blow to the head on the barricade and come up smiling

When your birthday cake is forgotten AGAIN it is appropriate to sing, "We Shall Overcome"

Do what you need to do

It is best to do business with great thought, firmness and grace

Check with a friend before you ditch an idea because it may be a good one

Proper care of one's self

Heavy petting on the stage is best done with someone you love and adore

Generosity

Generosity

Generosity

Generosity

Generosity

Generosity

Generosity

Generosity

Generosity

Generosity

Generosity

Generosity









Monday, December 29, 2014

On the 29th DaY of TiZmas


On the 29th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

GET A FISH (in 29 words)

Bear witness for those you love.  In life.  In death. Live alone?  Get a fish...someone to acknowledge that you've lived a day when you walk through that door.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

On the 28th DaY of TiZmas


On the 28th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

Twenty-eight things I will leave behind for 2015

Processed sugar (written the day after CAKE DAY at Les MiZ)

Regret (see above parenthetical phrase)

The need to prove myself

Gluten

Perfectionism

Hiding

Feebleness of health

Feebleness of mind

Feebleness of spirit

My gavel

More TaB

Comfort spending

Waste

Making things better for those who have the wherewithal to do it in return but don't

Ten pounds of fat (written while pounding double chocolate gelato)

Taxis (I took way too many in 2014)

My red cap (cause I lost it)

Magazine subscriptions (they're ALL GONE!)

A bunch of old videotapes

Mess

Belief that I'm not enough

Lack

TaBsicles (those form in the freezer when a can explodes)

Fear of retirement

Old boyfriends' numbers

Passivity

Seeking approval

Apologizing when it's not my fault


Saturday, December 27, 2014

On the 27th D aY of TiZmas


On the 27th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

27 Pet Peevables...

A lack of social graces including but not limited to..

Lack of thank you

Lack of please

Lack of excuse me

Lack of I'm sorry

A sorry that is merely lip service

The passive aggressive apology

Judgment for judgmenr's sake

Judgment as entertainment.

Lack of personal space

Times Square at Christmas

Manspread

Subway sprawl (not the Manspread but no less insidious)

Human feet on subway seats

"There is a police investigation at 42nd Street."

Incoherent subway announcements.

The A train during the  summer months

Not keeping one's word

Noise for noise's sake

Crazy for crazy's sake

Cranky for cranky's sake

Audible public bodily functions

Lack of awareness of personal space 

Lack of gratitude

Lack of professionalism. 


It seems to be a lot about lack.  Xx





Friday, December 26, 2014

On the 26th DaY of TiZmas


On the Twenty-Sixth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ asks you in twenty-six words...

Who would you be today if you had gotten that long-ago asked-for pony then?

How about it you got that pony today?

How would things change?

Thursday, December 25, 2014

On the Twenty-Fifth DaY of TiZmas




My
Expressions
Ring
Round 
You

Crowing
Hauntingly,
Ranting
Inside,
Singing
Tizzily,
Mischievous
A
Starlight

Helloooooooooo
All
Penpals,
Prepare
Years-end

Now
Enter
World

Your
Excellence
Aims
Righteously

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

On the 24th DaY of TiZmas


On the 24th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

24 realizations or reaffirmations from the year...


It is truly awesome to be a part of a hit show.

The Tonys are everything you dreamed about...if you dreamed about them.

I am thrilled to no longer be in my 20s or 30s.

It is easier to be happy.

Misery begets misery.

Cancer is absolutely fucked up and dreadful.

Complaining to the wrong people is just complaining for complaining's sake.

Sometimes you need to weigh a little more for a little while to be healthy.

I have extraordinary friends.

Asking for help may be hard, but it is so often worthwhile.

It is imperative to see a project through.

People who see projects through are more fulfilled.

People who don't see projects through like to lump others in with them.

Meditation makes sense.

Sometimes you need a decade and a half away from someone/thing you love to truly appreciate it.

If someone treats you poorly, it's often not about you and it is better to walk away.

If someone treats you poorly, sometimes it is about you and it's good to walk away to figure it out.

Walking away is not always passive aggressive...it is self care.

Proper employment is good for the soul.

Entitlement and elitism are a bore.

Puppies make most everything better.

If you stick your nose in someone else's business, you're gonna come out with a schnozz full of shit.

Things are often more beautiful after they've broken.

I'd rather be a creator than a consumer.
















Tuesday, December 23, 2014

On the 23rd DaY of TiZmas


On the 23rd DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

23 of my favorite movies...in no order of importance other than the rate of which they come into me wee noggin.

The Philadelphia Story
Beauty and the Beast
My Man Godfrey
Born Yesterday
Tom Jones
Eddie Izzard - Dress to Kill
Apocalypse Now
Bridesmaids
Pride
Louise CK - Shameless
Jane Eyre (any version but the last)
Gone with the Wind
Tropic Thunder
The Shining
A Room with a View
Switchblade Sisters
the social network
Broadcast News
Duck Soup
Raising Arizona
Holiday (not THE Holiday)
Billy Elliot
West Side Story

I am surprised by some of these. 

Monday, December 22, 2014

On the 22nd DaY of TiZmas


On the 22nd DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

Since I rarely aim low, I submitted my aforementioned piece to the NYT.

I got the loveliest rejection letter ever.

I'm not kidding...it was lovely.

I was thrilled to get a response.

I've moved on and will keep you posted.

I have cut my TaB intake in half.

One day a week I get to binge...on everything.

I'm surrounded by such negativity I've vowed to keep it positive for 23 hours of a day.

I wash my hair twice a week. 

Three times if I'm feeling generous...and filthy.

My hair gets prettier the dirtier it is.

My pincurl prep is a slippery slidey mess with clean hair.

I'm creating more than I'm consuming. 

I think that makes me a creator.

I just want to make sure what I'm creating doesn't just add to the noise.

My current outerwear uniform supposedly looks suspiciously like Eponine's signature tan coat and red cap.

My current outerwear uniform is a tan coat and red hat.

I'm a little embarrassed by this.

As it is a handsome look, I got over my embarrassment quickly.

I think frozen yogurt is a viable option for dinner once a week.

A stock of mine has increased in value 20X since I bought it.  

I'm only sorry I didn't buy more.




Sunday, December 21, 2014

On the 21st DaY of TiZmas


On the 21st DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I wrote my first longer form piece in a very long time.

I am stupid proud of the piece and hope it gets published. 

I sprained my neck this autumn.

I sprained my back this autumn.

I strained my right hip this autumn.

It all happened in one accidental swell foop.

Since the doctor and I just called it "all jacked up" I had no idea what the diagnosis really was.

I initially only missed 4 shows.

I later missed 2 more.

In addition I've only taken 3 sick days.

I think that's pretty awesome for the cast crone.

Another colleague likes to call me the cast matron.

Someday he might get slugged for this.

This same colleague also does a loving homage to me whenever he is on for a particular character.

I sing the "Happy Birthday" song in a very particular manner.

I used to sing it better.

It's kinda better that I don't sing it as well now  It's more of an event.  At least in my noggin.

I eat like a petulant teenager during the holidays.

I drink like one too.

I did not get a Christmas tree this year. Who needs another dead plant?  I've got PLENTY!

I used the money to buy presents for kids in need.






Saturday, December 20, 2014

On the Twentieth DaY of TiZmas


On the Twentieth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

20 THINGS I MADE THIS YEAR OF WHICH I AM PROUD...

I made...

My Original Broadway Company Opening Night Onstage Debut.

New friends.

My Tony Awards debut.

My presence known.

A musical arrangement of which I'm very proud.

Headway.

A somewhat angry dog sweet again.

It to the top of the list...a bunch.

A third draft of a book.

My principal debut on the Imperial stage.

My bed.

A very welcoming and comfortable home.

A killing.

A base hit.

It to third base.

An exceptional catch.

Peace with a lot.

A racket.

Love not war.

My way...my way.






Friday, December 19, 2014

On the Nineteenth DaY of TiZmas


On the Nineteenth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

The 19 songs that are on my playlist entitled "Cool New Stuff"...*


Brandy Alexander - Feist

Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison

Rehab - Amy Winehouse

Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band

1234 - Fiest

Ho Hey - The Lumineers

Stubborn Love - The Lumineers

I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons

Home - Phillip Phillips

Fidelity - Regina Spektor

Sunny Came Home - Shawn Colvin

Lady - Regina Spektor

Dancing in the Streets - David Bowie & Mick Jagger

Dog Days Are Over - Forence +The Machine

Better - Regina Spektor

I Feel It All - Feist

Hey, Soul Sister - Train

Leave - Steve Kazee

i want everything - eelwax


*None of it's new.  I am not cool.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

On the Eighteenth DaY of TiZmas



On the Eighteenth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

The Eighteen Books I've read this year...*

What to Do When It's Your Turn - Seth Godin

Mozart in the Jungle - Blair Tindall

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal - Jeanette Winterson

The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt

Garlic and Sapphires - Ruth Reichl

Hope: A Tragedy - Shalom Auslander

The Hours - Michael Cunningham

The English Patient - Michael Ondaatje

Little Bee - Chris Cleave

Freedom - Jonathan Franzen

GarageBand for Dummies - Bob LeVitus

Fin & Lady: A Novel - Cathleen Schine

The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison

100 Essays I Don't Have Time to Write: On Umbrellas and Sword Fights, Parades and Dogs, Fire Alarms, Children, and Theater - Sarah Ruhl

Swim - Jennifer Weiner

Secrets of a Fashion Therapist - Betty Halbreich

This Book Will Save Your Life - A.M. Homes

The Secret History - Donna Tartt


13 were fiction.  This is very hopeful.




*I did NOT read Les Miserables







Wednesday, December 17, 2014

On the Seventeenth DaY of TiZmas


On the Seventeenth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...


There are a series of exercises I have to do for about 20 minutes every day just for me to walk out into the world properly.

I am grateful but I find them a pain in the ass.

I am grateful because the alternative is literally pain in my ass.

I am literally upset that the word literally no longer just means literally.  Literally.

I have been pretty pain-free for almost a month now.

I will soon graduate from PT.


I went to a reading the other day and was upset by someone dissing my show...without having seen it.

I was surprised by my anger.  It should be a day job at this point, but it isn't.  It's Les MiZ.

I've never stayed with a production past the year mark.

This could get interesting.

Sometimes I say terrible things to BaX but with a smile on my face and a lilt in my voice just to see his tail wag.

The disparity of the two provides hilarity...for me

I'm pretty sure disparity is not the word but it rhymes with hilarity so blow me.

I watched all three seasons of GIRLS in a little over a week.

Can you tell last week was a freaking WEEK?

I won't have an alone day again until New Year's Eve.

That will be three and a half weeks and that's a lot for me.  GOOD LUCK






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